Hey guys. Haylee here. So I was recently given a prayer book for mothers called "A Mother's Manual". I was skimming through the book and found a beautiful prayer for married couples, but this prayer can be for anyone. Towards the end of the prayer, there was a line that really resonated with me.
"May I know the continued grace to work with you in all I do, and not merely for you... so that my day may become a perfect offering."
This is a simple, yet profound line.
I believe that at the heart of humanity there is true goodness. Yes, we have the crazy people, and yes, we have the people who, for whatever reason, have hardened their hearts; but overall, the rest of us are good people trying to contribute to humanity, make a difference in the world, and truly offer our lives to God.
And yet, I also believe that while we are all trying to do our best to offer our lives to God, SOMETIMES we slave away working for God and doing good, but it may not be the "good" that He has set aside for us specifically. We may be working for God, but not necessarily with Him.
After my freshman year in college, I decided to take some time off and do missionary work. It was a life-changing and blessed year. In those 12 months I developed a very strong and very real relationship with God, I discovered God's unconditional, passionate love for me, and it was a year of incredible healing. It was also, in a sense, a very "easy" year. I was able to leave a difficult college environment, not study, not worry about my future or my family struggles, and I was able to just focus on God. God knew I needed that year. And He blessed me tremendously with it. And when those 12 months were done, I had to decide if I would go back to the "real world" or stay for another year doing missionary work. For me personally, it would've been easier to stay in that missionary environment. I'm sure God would have blessed another year of missionary work, but I knew deep down that God's BEST for me was not to stay there. And looking back, for me personally, it would have been a selfish choice to stay a missionary for another year. I felt very safe and comfortable in that environment. I was part of a wonderful community of people all striving to do the same thing, love and serve God. I was also in a position where I had teens looking up to me, wanting to share their hearts with me, and looking to me as a spiritual role model. It made me feel good about myself and I felt like I was making a difference! Unfortunately, I was scared of losing those good feelings. I was scared to go back to my life and deal with the struggles. And I had struggled at times to understand if God wanted me in this safe environment or if He wanted me back in the world where there was more temptation, more pain, more struggle. But in order to serve God and become a stronger, holier woman, I knew deep down that He was calling me to leave that beautiful, loving, protected environment and head back to face my life. I knew I would not have those spiritual highs and feelings while being in a college environment like I did while doing missionary work, but that was where God was calling me. He knew it was the next step to get me to my vocation. It was a very difficult decision to leave my missionary community, but God blessed me with a deep peace knowing I was going where He was calling me.
The reason I share this little story is because it is a small example in my life where I had two choices to make: both being GOOD choices! One choice would have been working for God, the other would have been working with Him. Like I said earlier, had I stayed another year and done more missionary work, it would've been good, it would've been fruitful, and God would have blessed that work! However, the other choice of leaving and going back to college was the better choice, the choice I knew God was leaning me towards. And because of this small step in my life, I was able to get a degree from a wonderful school, which allowed me to support myself after college while waiting for my now-husband to tie the knot :) It allowed me to learn how to incorporate a spiritual life in the real world and not be afraid to face the world outside of the faith-filled community I had been a part of. It helped me become the woman I needed to become for my future husband.
I want to share another story. My sister in law, Maria, is a nurse. I love hearing stories from her about the patients she works with because they often touch my heart and teach me what love is and what is means to work with God. She told me of this man who had a stroke years back and had become blind. He was an older man and was very VERY sick. When he came into the hospital, Maria noticed how beautiful his skin was, almost velvet-like. Because of how sick and old he was, Maria knew his skin would not have naturally been this beautiful. Then, Maria saw his wife in the background; she immediately could tell how loving she was to her husband and how well she took care of him. When Maria was attending to her patient, the wife would help in any way she could. She would walk him to the bathroom, make sure his pillows were comfortable, and attend to his every need. When he was throwing up, she helped Maria clean up the mess after he missed the trashcan because he could not see. When Maria came back in a second time, she saw the wife putting lotion on his arms and legs. Her blind husband, who would not even be able to see his skin, was being attended to like he was the most precious gift in her life. She served her husband as if she was serving God Himself.
This story moved me and truly convicted me of what it means to work with God. Working with God does not equate to the number of people you are reaching out to and doesn't necessarily equate to how many times a month you do outreach (although this work is still beautiful and can be an offering of love for God.) What I believe working with God means is to humble yourself before Him to do work that is hidden, unseen, and doesn't feel "good". It means after 30 years of being married to one man and knowing all his annoying and bad habits, you continue to love and serve Him, and to do this without recognition! This wife attended to every need of her husband, and after 30 years, continued to do it with such sweetness, love, and care. Did it feel good? I bet not. I'm sure she fought back tears everyday to see how weak and fragile her husband had become, and yet she continued to do it, because that was her vocation, to serve and love God through this soul and help get her husband to heaven.
Now, back to college :) For those 6-8 months of transitioning back into college, I struggled. Like I said earlier, I did not have the same "spiritual highs" that I did while doing missionary work. I was thrown back into a college environment where it was difficult to even talk about God with people because it scared them. But I learned that in order to work with God, I had to listen to His voice and go where He was leading me at all times, even if it didn't feel good. I could be doing missionary work and reaching out to teens everyday, but if that was not what God desired for my life at that time, it would not be a perfect offering of my life to Him. I knew that my vocation was marriage, and the deepest longing of my heart was to find my husband, and God knew I would not find him at the missionary site I was at, so He called me away.
My life looks very different now! My life is very simple. I am beyond blessed to be a stay at home mom, but I don't have the same opportunities to do retreats, outreach, and all those "exciting" things I was able to once do. BUT, that is because that is not how He is calling me to holiness. Now that I have entered into my vocation, my job is to give my heart and soul 100% to my husband and my child (and future children). For my entire life, there will be nothing more important than me loving and serving my husband and children, and while this looks very different from the lifestyle I used to know and love, it is how God has called me to serve Him and hopefully get the souls He has entrusted to me to heaven.
Knowing my husband now, there were also certain lessons I needed to learn as a woman in the real world before I married him and could be the best wife possible to him. I needed to learn how to incorporate my spiritual life into the daily tasks of living in the world, aka paying bills, learning how to take care of a household, learning to cook, and learning to be a strong, convicted, confident woman (although you can also learn all these things after you are married :) )
I believe that God has a BEST plan for each one of us. I believe that He calls us to strive for the BEST version of our lives, not just a good version. And even if we aren't currently doing God's best, if we pray, are humble, and aren't afraid to change, God will re-direct us.When we work with God, it will make us uncomfortable, stretch our hearts, and bring us into situations that challenge us deeply; but it will also be the most rewarding and most beautiful life possible because it will be the life that our God, who is all-good and all-loving, desires for us and ultimately will lead us to heaven.
I am learning what it means to love and serve God and have so much more to learn, but through my mistakes and my good choices, I believe that working with God means serving Him through the unseen, unheard, and humdrum moments of each day when I am trying my best to be faithful to the vocation God has called me to, even if it doesn't feel good.
My prayer is that we may always work with God, and not just for Him, so that we are able to create the most beautiful and most holy work possible and strive to make each day a perfect offering.
"May I know the continued grace to work with you in all I do, and not merely for you... so that my day may become a perfect offering."
This is a simple, yet profound line.
I believe that at the heart of humanity there is true goodness. Yes, we have the crazy people, and yes, we have the people who, for whatever reason, have hardened their hearts; but overall, the rest of us are good people trying to contribute to humanity, make a difference in the world, and truly offer our lives to God.
And yet, I also believe that while we are all trying to do our best to offer our lives to God, SOMETIMES we slave away working for God and doing good, but it may not be the "good" that He has set aside for us specifically. We may be working for God, but not necessarily with Him.
After my freshman year in college, I decided to take some time off and do missionary work. It was a life-changing and blessed year. In those 12 months I developed a very strong and very real relationship with God, I discovered God's unconditional, passionate love for me, and it was a year of incredible healing. It was also, in a sense, a very "easy" year. I was able to leave a difficult college environment, not study, not worry about my future or my family struggles, and I was able to just focus on God. God knew I needed that year. And He blessed me tremendously with it. And when those 12 months were done, I had to decide if I would go back to the "real world" or stay for another year doing missionary work. For me personally, it would've been easier to stay in that missionary environment. I'm sure God would have blessed another year of missionary work, but I knew deep down that God's BEST for me was not to stay there. And looking back, for me personally, it would have been a selfish choice to stay a missionary for another year. I felt very safe and comfortable in that environment. I was part of a wonderful community of people all striving to do the same thing, love and serve God. I was also in a position where I had teens looking up to me, wanting to share their hearts with me, and looking to me as a spiritual role model. It made me feel good about myself and I felt like I was making a difference! Unfortunately, I was scared of losing those good feelings. I was scared to go back to my life and deal with the struggles. And I had struggled at times to understand if God wanted me in this safe environment or if He wanted me back in the world where there was more temptation, more pain, more struggle. But in order to serve God and become a stronger, holier woman, I knew deep down that He was calling me to leave that beautiful, loving, protected environment and head back to face my life. I knew I would not have those spiritual highs and feelings while being in a college environment like I did while doing missionary work, but that was where God was calling me. He knew it was the next step to get me to my vocation. It was a very difficult decision to leave my missionary community, but God blessed me with a deep peace knowing I was going where He was calling me.
The reason I share this little story is because it is a small example in my life where I had two choices to make: both being GOOD choices! One choice would have been working for God, the other would have been working with Him. Like I said earlier, had I stayed another year and done more missionary work, it would've been good, it would've been fruitful, and God would have blessed that work! However, the other choice of leaving and going back to college was the better choice, the choice I knew God was leaning me towards. And because of this small step in my life, I was able to get a degree from a wonderful school, which allowed me to support myself after college while waiting for my now-husband to tie the knot :) It allowed me to learn how to incorporate a spiritual life in the real world and not be afraid to face the world outside of the faith-filled community I had been a part of. It helped me become the woman I needed to become for my future husband.
I want to share another story. My sister in law, Maria, is a nurse. I love hearing stories from her about the patients she works with because they often touch my heart and teach me what love is and what is means to work with God. She told me of this man who had a stroke years back and had become blind. He was an older man and was very VERY sick. When he came into the hospital, Maria noticed how beautiful his skin was, almost velvet-like. Because of how sick and old he was, Maria knew his skin would not have naturally been this beautiful. Then, Maria saw his wife in the background; she immediately could tell how loving she was to her husband and how well she took care of him. When Maria was attending to her patient, the wife would help in any way she could. She would walk him to the bathroom, make sure his pillows were comfortable, and attend to his every need. When he was throwing up, she helped Maria clean up the mess after he missed the trashcan because he could not see. When Maria came back in a second time, she saw the wife putting lotion on his arms and legs. Her blind husband, who would not even be able to see his skin, was being attended to like he was the most precious gift in her life. She served her husband as if she was serving God Himself.
This story moved me and truly convicted me of what it means to work with God. Working with God does not equate to the number of people you are reaching out to and doesn't necessarily equate to how many times a month you do outreach (although this work is still beautiful and can be an offering of love for God.) What I believe working with God means is to humble yourself before Him to do work that is hidden, unseen, and doesn't feel "good". It means after 30 years of being married to one man and knowing all his annoying and bad habits, you continue to love and serve Him, and to do this without recognition! This wife attended to every need of her husband, and after 30 years, continued to do it with such sweetness, love, and care. Did it feel good? I bet not. I'm sure she fought back tears everyday to see how weak and fragile her husband had become, and yet she continued to do it, because that was her vocation, to serve and love God through this soul and help get her husband to heaven.
Now, back to college :) For those 6-8 months of transitioning back into college, I struggled. Like I said earlier, I did not have the same "spiritual highs" that I did while doing missionary work. I was thrown back into a college environment where it was difficult to even talk about God with people because it scared them. But I learned that in order to work with God, I had to listen to His voice and go where He was leading me at all times, even if it didn't feel good. I could be doing missionary work and reaching out to teens everyday, but if that was not what God desired for my life at that time, it would not be a perfect offering of my life to Him. I knew that my vocation was marriage, and the deepest longing of my heart was to find my husband, and God knew I would not find him at the missionary site I was at, so He called me away.
My life looks very different now! My life is very simple. I am beyond blessed to be a stay at home mom, but I don't have the same opportunities to do retreats, outreach, and all those "exciting" things I was able to once do. BUT, that is because that is not how He is calling me to holiness. Now that I have entered into my vocation, my job is to give my heart and soul 100% to my husband and my child (and future children). For my entire life, there will be nothing more important than me loving and serving my husband and children, and while this looks very different from the lifestyle I used to know and love, it is how God has called me to serve Him and hopefully get the souls He has entrusted to me to heaven.
Knowing my husband now, there were also certain lessons I needed to learn as a woman in the real world before I married him and could be the best wife possible to him. I needed to learn how to incorporate my spiritual life into the daily tasks of living in the world, aka paying bills, learning how to take care of a household, learning to cook, and learning to be a strong, convicted, confident woman (although you can also learn all these things after you are married :) )
I believe that God has a BEST plan for each one of us. I believe that He calls us to strive for the BEST version of our lives, not just a good version. And even if we aren't currently doing God's best, if we pray, are humble, and aren't afraid to change, God will re-direct us.When we work with God, it will make us uncomfortable, stretch our hearts, and bring us into situations that challenge us deeply; but it will also be the most rewarding and most beautiful life possible because it will be the life that our God, who is all-good and all-loving, desires for us and ultimately will lead us to heaven.
I am learning what it means to love and serve God and have so much more to learn, but through my mistakes and my good choices, I believe that working with God means serving Him through the unseen, unheard, and humdrum moments of each day when I am trying my best to be faithful to the vocation God has called me to, even if it doesn't feel good.
My prayer is that we may always work with God, and not just for Him, so that we are able to create the most beautiful and most holy work possible and strive to make each day a perfect offering.